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Why Life Is Like A “Pick Your Own Ending” Novel

One of the things I’ve been learning over the last several months is that our life story is in part about how we write it. What I mean is, the same story can be viewed from many different angles.

Your perspective defines your experience.

Take this past Sunday, for example. I got up at 5:30am filled with excitement and anticipation. To be clear, I do not usually wake up at 5:30 this way. Sunday was special. I was headed to the airport for 7am to catch a 9am flight to Nashville. My first time in Nashville, and ironically the trip had nothing to do with music. I was headed there to meet one of my writing heros, Donald Miller, and participate in his StoryBrand workshop. It’s essentially a crash course in branding and marketing that is highly personal, intensive and no doubt game-changingly awesome.

The day started well. I got up on time, nursed Tate, got ready and was even having a fairly decent hair day. It was a slightly bittersweet start, if I’m honest, as I was quietly mourning the fact that we planned to use this trip to wean Tate, but at the same time I felt grateful that doing so would mean a bit more freedom to improve my health.

Anyway, got to the airport, got checked in, got through crazy long lines at security, hauled myself all the way to the nether regions of the airport where they have the small aircraft landing and departing. Waited as per usual for the boarding call, happily reading my book. Boarded the plane, slightly giddy at the thought that I’d be in Nashville in just two hours. And then the pilot’s first announcement that there was a mechanical issue and they needed to delay us by a bit.

Now, here’s where the “pick your own ending” business comes in.

STORYLINE NUMBER ONE: I spent the next almost 8 hours WAITING, inhaling aircraft fumes, being told nothing helpful or of any substance, getting on and off the aircraft three different times as they discovered more mechanical issues, getting seriously hangry and realizing airport food is possibly the worst “food” on the planet, watching as a weather system set in and progressively shrank my chances of actually departing, and finally learned that the flight was cancelled and I would miss my beloved workshop altogether because all of the other flights were either full or cancelled for the next two days…

STORYLINE NUMBER TWO: I actually enjoyed having a day to myself for the first time in I-don’t-know-how-long. I finished reading a book that I’ve been trying to read for two months. I legitimately got something out of it. I engaged with some really fine and lovely folks at the airport (mostly airport staff because they weren’t quite as cranky about the delay as my fellow passengers), I people watched, I reflected on life, I drank more than my required daily intake of water, and I was proud of myself for maintaining a positive attitude throughout the day as I watched others melt down like toddlers who were told they couldn’t have a second cookie. I kept my perspective and my wits about me and kept reminding myself “Better that they find these mechanical problems with the plane while we’re on the ground rather than when we’re in the air.”

Same experience. Two different perspectives.

I admit, I may have chosen storyline number one at the point when – having been at the airport for almost 9 hours – they announced that our flight was cancelled and I subsequently learned that there were no other options and I would miss my workshop altogether. I didn’t yell or have a hissy fit or use any bad language, but I did start to recount the negatives in my head – the waiting, the aircraft fumes, the lack of information, the hangry, the MISSING MY WORKSHOP.

And then, as I was driving back home in the limo that the airline paid for, I started to rally. I realized that God was in this day. He’s in my plans to learn and grow and become. He’s not just in my plans, he’s all over them. The Nashville workshop was not my only opportunity to learn. In fact, 9 hours in the Toronto airport was also an opportunity to learn, as long as I picked that ending. And the Nashville workshop will happen again. Maybe I’ll be all the more ready for it when it comes back around.

Here’s the thing: there could be a thousand reasons why I wasn’t meant to go this time, and I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. My job is not to know. My job is to surrender and trust and choose the right storyline.

My job is to pick a good ending.

Today is Wednesday, not Monday, and Mondays are for musings. But today – even though it’s Wednesday – I needed to share this with you. Because life is unpredictable, and you need to share the good stuff whenever it happens.

xo
s.

By |February 11th, 2015|0 Comments

WHY SAYING NO HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH SAYING YES

“No More Yes. It’s either HELL YEAH! Or No.”

We’ve probably all heard TEDtalks speaker Derek Sivers’ famous quote by now. I mean, it’s kind of been everywhere over the last few months, hasn’t it? But why does this quote resonate so deeply with so many of us?

I’d say it’s because we are all feeling just a little {or a lot} pulled at the seams. Stretched. Overcommitted. Exhausted and barely keeping up. And lacking joy as a result.

I talked about this in my post last week on renovating your life like you would renovate your house. Change starts with recognizing there’s a gap between what you think you can {or worse, “should”} accomplish and how much time and energy you actually have to do it.

But then what?

What do you do when you realize you are chronically overcommitted?

READ THIS BOOK

Greg McKeown’s New York Times bestselling book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less offers a guide for setting our filters to know when to say “HELL YEAH!” and when to say “No.” I read it over the holidays and I’m so grateful I did. It gave me the courage I needed to say “no” to some things and really helped me set my course for 2015. I think it can do the same for you.

Here are some top tips I gleaned from the book:

1. START BY EXPLORING EVERYTHING

Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? I mean, aren’t we supposed to be eliminating stuff from our jam-packed schedules?

Yes.

But rather than blindly saying “yes” or “no,” McKeown says we should take the time to really think through the short and longterm implications of each opportunity through the lens of these three questions:

What do I feel inspired by?
What are my natural talents?
What meets a significant need in the world?

I would add one more key questions of my own:

Will saying “yes” to this send my life balance spinning out of control {and if so, what can I say “no” to in order to make room for it}?

2. HAVE EXTREME CRITERIA

For me this has meant establishing just 4 areas of my life as my top priority – my “focal point” for this year as I called it in my last post. If an opportunity or request doesn’t meet needs and help me achieve my goals in one or more of these areas – and even within these areas, if my immediate response isn’t “HECK YEAH!” – then the answer is “no.”

For me, my “focal point” areas are:
My Family
My Health
Authentic Community
My Career

Obviously there are other areas of my life that I am investing in {like my spiritual life}, but these four areas are my top priority this year. Within these four areas, I’m striving to follow McKeown’s advice and only say yes to the top 10% of opportunities that come my way by asking the kinds of questions he suggests, like “Is this exactly what I’m looking for?”

So basically there are two stages to the filtering process. STEP ONE: Does this opportunity/commitment/relationship fit within one of my “focal point” areas? STEP TWO: Is this exactly what I’m looking for as I grow in this area of my life?

Why be so disciplined about it? Because excellence requires extreme focus. And in our ADD culture of maximalism, I’m increasingly realizing the great wisdom to be found in doing less with more.

3. RUTHLESSLY REMOVE CLUTTER

What if we viewed our life the way a professional organizer would view a cluttered closet? You can’t see what you’ve got when there’s a bunch of stuff you never use – and don’t really like – getting in the way.

As McKeown says, an Essentialist asks “If I weren’t already invested in this ______ {project, group, relationship, etc.} how much would I be willing to give up to get it now?”

4. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Once you’ve cleared the mental, emotional and commitment clutter from your life, you’ll have WAY more space to achieve your goals. Just like designing a space that is currently cluttered with the accumulation of “stuff,” you have to start by editing things out to actually see what you’re working with!

For me, ridding myself of the weight of guilt has been HUGE.

Guilt is such an energy vampire! And for me, it has actually been holding me back from achieving some of my health goals. It’s really hard to recover your health when you’re constantly feeling like you need to be meeting everyone else’s expectations of you. So I’m taking a much closer look at what my expectations are for myself, and then I’m taking small steps toward achieving my goals in each area, knowing I will build momentum as I go.

I’m so grateful for the timing of reading this book, and I hope you find encouragement from it too. It’s firmly planted at the top of my recommended reading list for anyone looking to renovate their house or their life. For me, I’ll be applying it to both!

xo
s.


By |February 2nd, 2015|5 Comments

HOW TO CUSTOMIZE AN IKEA KITCHEN | DESIGN LESSONS FROM THE TEAM AT CANADIAN HOUSE & HOME MAGAZINE

Photo via Global News

As a designer, I head to the Interior Design Show Trade Day every year for three main reasons:

ONE to see what new products and innovations are being introduced, TWO to get inspired, and THREE to connect with really great people in my industry.

This year, to my pleasant surprise, I found all three needs met in one place at House & Home‘s IKEA kitchen display. Setting the creative team at Canadian House & Home Magazine to the design challenge of customizing an IKEA kitchen – alongside the team at Style At Home who also designed a beautiful space – was a brilliant way for IKEA to introduce their new Sektion line of kitchen cabinetry to the Canadian market.

INNOVATION IS ON THE INSIDE

The new line is a huge move for IKEA in transitioning away from their popular Akurum line of kitchen cabinetry. From the little that I was able to see past the throngs of people in the booth, it’s the “guts” of the Sektion line that make it most exciting, with lots of highly customizable options and extremely functional inserts. {I caught a glimpse of a drawer with a tiered sliding spice rack in it that was truly fab!} The new door profiles and colour options are very current and on-trend with what’s happening in kitchen design right now.

Unfortunately for those who already have an Akurum kitchen, it appears as though the dimensions of the two lines are different, so you won’t be able to retrofit your Akurum with these enviable Sektion upgrades without a total kitchen redo. That said, they are still honouring their amazing 25 year warranty on the Akurum, so all is not lost.

The House & Home kitchen really felt like an English fitted kitchen to me, with an abundance of design details to surprise and delight. In addition to the herringbone wood floors you can see in the photo above {they had me at herringbone!}, they showcased a few of my favourite timeless design trends in this beautiful space. Take a peek at some of the design lessons we can learn from Suzanne Dimma and Sarah Harthill – the senior designers leading the team on this kitchen design on behalf of Canadian House & Home Magazine.

LESSON ONE: CREATE ARCHITECTURAL INTEREST

Image via Margot Austin on Pinterest

Let’s be honest, turning a basic convention-style booth into a quietly luxurious custom fitted kitchen is not for the faint of heart. Like a real home renovation or a new build, the task requires heaps of design vision and the courage to be unique. The first thing I loved is the way Suzanne and Sarah made the kitchen feel totally custom with the use of paneling.

Paneling, as I’m sure you know, is one of my timeless favourites. In fact, there are very few design projects I’ve done over the years that have not wound up with paneling in at least one room of the house. Why? It adds instant character and the kind of architectural interest that grounds the space and gives it a sense of history. Good bones, as we say. Always start with good bones.

The way Suzanne and Sarah integrated the simple, modern, box-style range hood into the paneling and wrapped the paneling around the room is brilliant. It truly connects both sides of the kitchen with the pantry that flanks the end wall, and it complements the raised paneling on the IKEA cabinetry Suzanne and Sarah chose without feeling too “matchy matchy.”

LESSON TWO: PLAY WITH PATTERN + COLOUR

If I could have secretly stuffed this stunning Martyn Lawrence Bullard for Ann Sacks tile into my handbag to use in my yet-to-be-reno’d laundry room without creating a scene, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Delicious. I love how this tile creates a sense of history while being extremely current. Think Paris bistro floors or an English hand-painted backsplash.

I also love the dove grey cabinets Suzanne and Sarah chose {this door style is called Bodbyn and will be available February 2nd} and how they contrasted the softness of the grey with the deep peacock colour on the paneling and range hood. The art of the mix is as much about creative contrast as it is about a mix of materials.

LESSON THREE: CREATE MOMENTS of DISCOVERY

Needless to say, my photo does not do this stunning little pantry justice. Mark my words, though. When the professional photos are released, people are going to be pinning the you-know-what out of this little space on Pinterest. Beyond the charming sense of organization {which makes me want to hire Suzanne and Sarah just to bring that kind of zen into my own real-life-with-kids…even if only in my pantry! It would become my little in-home European retreat…}, it’s the Peacock Garden wallpaper by Zoffany and the iron-framed French doors with egg-shaped brass knobs that make this pantry sing. I mean, who expects to see such a fantasy-world-come-to-life in the pantry? It’s delightfully unexpected. This kind of “discovery moment” as I like to call it makes you bite your lip and inhale quickly when you come upon it. Just the sort of thing to make a kitchen feel entirely bespoke and utterly special.

{And I was actually kind of serious about the pantry retreat thing. I can totally see myself hiding away and sipping tea in here whilst imagining myself on a European vacation. This is either a seriously sad statement about my need for a vacation or an incredible credit to my vivid imagination.}

You’ll have to wait for this kitchen to be featured in the magazine to see all of the delicious details that were so thoughtfully designed in this space. Watch for it in an upcoming issue of House & Home, where no doubt the source guide and the gorgeous photos will be worth the wait.

xo
s.

By |January 28th, 2015|7 Comments