TEDtalks Archives - The Curated House

WHY SAYING NO HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH SAYING YES

“No More Yes. It’s either HELL YEAH! Or No.”

We’ve probably all heard TEDtalks speaker Derek Sivers’ famous quote by now. I mean, it’s kind of been everywhere over the last few months, hasn’t it? But why does this quote resonate so deeply with so many of us?

I’d say it’s because we are all feeling just a little {or a lot} pulled at the seams. Stretched. Overcommitted. Exhausted and barely keeping up. And lacking joy as a result.

I talked about this in my post last week on renovating your life like you would renovate your house. Change starts with recognizing there’s a gap between what you think you can {or worse, “should”} accomplish and how much time and energy you actually have to do it.

But then what?

What do you do when you realize you are chronically overcommitted?

READ THIS BOOK

Greg McKeown’s New York Times bestselling book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less offers a guide for setting our filters to know when to say “HELL YEAH!” and when to say “No.” I read it over the holidays and I’m so grateful I did. It gave me the courage I needed to say “no” to some things and really helped me set my course for 2015. I think it can do the same for you.

Here are some top tips I gleaned from the book:

1. START BY EXPLORING EVERYTHING

Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? I mean, aren’t we supposed to be eliminating stuff from our jam-packed schedules?

Yes.

But rather than blindly saying “yes” or “no,” McKeown says we should take the time to really think through the short and longterm implications of each opportunity through the lens of these three questions:

What do I feel inspired by?
What are my natural talents?
What meets a significant need in the world?

I would add one more key questions of my own:

Will saying “yes” to this send my life balance spinning out of control {and if so, what can I say “no” to in order to make room for it}?

2. HAVE EXTREME CRITERIA

For me this has meant establishing just 4 areas of my life as my top priority – my “focal point” for this year as I called it in my last post. If an opportunity or request doesn’t meet needs and help me achieve my goals in one or more of these areas – and even within these areas, if my immediate response isn’t “HECK YEAH!” – then the answer is “no.”

For me, my “focal point” areas are:
My Family
My Health
Authentic Community
My Career

Obviously there are other areas of my life that I am investing in {like my spiritual life}, but these four areas are my top priority this year. Within these four areas, I’m striving to follow McKeown’s advice and only say yes to the top 10% of opportunities that come my way by asking the kinds of questions he suggests, like “Is this exactly what I’m looking for?”

So basically there are two stages to the filtering process. STEP ONE: Does this opportunity/commitment/relationship fit within one of my “focal point” areas? STEP TWO: Is this exactly what I’m looking for as I grow in this area of my life?

Why be so disciplined about it? Because excellence requires extreme focus. And in our ADD culture of maximalism, I’m increasingly realizing the great wisdom to be found in doing less with more.

3. RUTHLESSLY REMOVE CLUTTER

What if we viewed our life the way a professional organizer would view a cluttered closet? You can’t see what you’ve got when there’s a bunch of stuff you never use – and don’t really like – getting in the way.

As McKeown says, an Essentialist asks “If I weren’t already invested in this ______ {project, group, relationship, etc.} how much would I be willing to give up to get it now?”

4. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Once you’ve cleared the mental, emotional and commitment clutter from your life, you’ll have WAY more space to achieve your goals. Just like designing a space that is currently cluttered with the accumulation of “stuff,” you have to start by editing things out to actually see what you’re working with!

For me, ridding myself of the weight of guilt has been HUGE.

Guilt is such an energy vampire! And for me, it has actually been holding me back from achieving some of my health goals. It’s really hard to recover your health when you’re constantly feeling like you need to be meeting everyone else’s expectations of you. So I’m taking a much closer look at what my expectations are for myself, and then I’m taking small steps toward achieving my goals in each area, knowing I will build momentum as I go.

I’m so grateful for the timing of reading this book, and I hope you find encouragement from it too. It’s firmly planted at the top of my recommended reading list for anyone looking to renovate their house or their life. For me, I’ll be applying it to both!

xo
s. 

By Sarah Walker The Curated House|February 2nd, 2015|5 Comments

The Curated Collection | David Graham White

In a world where our need to control and predict outcomes drives our obsessions as much as our fears, David Graham White‘s photography speaks straight to the heart of culture with a haunting beauty that is deeply profound.

In this series, entitled “In The Garden I Felt Safe,” Canadian photographer David Graham White explores the exacting precision of topiaries in the Welsh landscape. Historically viewed as symbols of power, wealth and control, topiaries also allude to a magical, other-worldly fantasy where nature is harnessed with “corsets and stays” and where mazes lead into the depths of our imaginations. The tension between beauty and fear – held together in this horticultural form – is somehow mesmerizing.

Even more mesmerizing is David’s process. The images are photographed as Polaroid negatives and then processed using the light from the flickering images on a television to replace the enlarger. The unpredictability of where the light flares will show up on the TV screen imbues the images with compelling movement and saturation of colour. Ethereal and uncontrolled forms are mysteriously woven into the precisely controlled landscapes of David’s images as the analogue Polaroids are transformed by coming in contact with the post-modern digital era television.

David says, “Television reflects culture from the inside out as it reports on the spectacular world around us. [It] serves as the mouthpiece of material culture generating need for its products to fill as it celebrates the elite and famous. Fear becomes a commodity that is bought and sold on the backs of its viewers. In the end we are left looking for a way through the maze back to a safe place where we can rest.”

Limited edition prints of David’s stunning photographs are available through Art Interiors. As you reflect on his images, his process and the statement David is making with this series, perhaps you will consider what it is that makes you feel safe, what it is that you are trying to predict and control, and what it is that has you in “corsets and stays” right now.

I’ve been thinking about these things a great deal lately, thanks to inspiration like David’s work and this TEDtalk from Brené Brown. I’m coming to believe that it is indeed what makes me vulnerable that also makes me beautiful.

Happy Monday!
xo
s.

By Sarah Walker The Curated House|January 28th, 2013|0 Comments

Dave Eggers + The Pirate Supply Store | 826 Valencia | San Francisco

I have a confession to make. I love words. I love their power to communicate stories and ideas. I love their power to connect and bring people awake to something new. Some days I feel like Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web, in need of someone to bring me “better” words like “radiant” or “humble” to describe what it is I’m trying to convey. But that struggle to express things beautifully makes me feel alive, and that’s part of why I love this daily conversation with all of you.

Dave Eggers also believes in the power of words. In fact, “radiant” or “humble” can’t begin to describe the inspirational, world-changing power of words in Dave Egger’s hands. You see, Dave has realized that words and language skills can open doors for kids who might otherwise be left behind. And in a stroke of genius, Dave has set out to change the world one child at a time.

You cannot begin to imagine my shock and delight when – innocently exploring the Mission District post gourmet lunch date at Tartine and Bi-Rite – my son and I stumbled upon 826 Valencia {of TEDtalk fame}. Not just any other store front, 826 Valencia is San Francisco’s only Independent Pirate Supply Store. I’m sure this might come as quite a surprise. After all, one might think the market for pirate supplies is huge in San Fran, being on the water and all. Nevertheless, 826 Valencia has the corner on the market.

Image via PrintMag

A most inventive and whimsical cover for their actual “covert” operation of tutoring children from the local school district, the pirate supply store is at once curious and comical, selling items like rubber leaches, wooden peg legs and bottles of gangrene. The whimsical storefront is also an engaging conversation starter and a powerful gateway to the real work that goes on behind the pirate flag separating the store front from the inspired room in back. Capitalizing on the compassion and talent of local creatives and academics, Dave Eggers offers free tutoring to children from the neighborhood. They may be in the business of selling pirate supplies, but they are also {more importantly} in the business of changing lives. Their impact has been so profound that Dave received the TED Prize for his work. If you want to get really inspired, watch his TEDtalk here.

For now, here’s a great little video to tell you more about it:

So why share this story on a design + lifestyle blog? Because I’ve promised to share with you the beauty I stumble upon in my everyday life. Dave and his team personify my motto: “Beautiful process, beautiful product.” They inspire me to always be watching for ways I can use my gifts to change the world. I hope they inspire you too.

What creatives have you stumbled upon who are using their gifts to change the world? I’d love to hear all about it!

xo
s.

By Sarah Walker The Curated House|September 24th, 2012|2 Comments